Lily Tomlin

I have always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.

— Lily Tomlin

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still a rat.

— Lily Tomlin

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

— Lily Tomlin

Reality is the crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

— Lily Tomlin

We're all in this alone.

— Lily Tomlin

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

— Lily Tomlin

Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working Americans. It is the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.

— Lily Tomlin

Why is it when we talk to God, we're praying, but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?

— Lily Tomlin

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

— Lily Tomlin

For fast-acting relief try slowing down.

— Lily Tomlin

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

— Lily Tomlin

If truth is beauty, then how come no one has their hair done in a library?

— Lily Tomlin

We are all in this together, by ourselves.

— Lily Tomlin